It's a feeling like nostalgia keeps me turning back to you

Hello. I'd update more often you know if anything actually happened.

I actually spent a large part of my weekend in a self imposed timewarp. I didn't set out to give up as much of my time as I did but I got sucked in. I had a nose at my old blog to try and gain a little inspiration for this one. I started rather randomly in April 2005 & ended up reading the whole bloody thing, comments and all, right to it's inevitable fizzling out. And it was glorious.
There are several reasons why I found it so enthralling...
1. On my day, I could really write quite well & often found myself chuckling away to my witticisms.

2. The period I read through chronicled what was a time of many surprises & adventures. I spent a wonderful 4 months in Lyon, I had an unforgettable trip to New York, a fortnight in the Chezc Republic, a week in Belgium & a weekend in Amsterdam all in the space of 12 months. Happy days! There was also the start of a new relationship & the excitement of my musical exploits which had just been realised in the shape of my first album; "Confessions of an Idiot".

3. What a tremendous sense of community there was around the place. Now I count myself very lucky that I made some fabulous friendships through the blog & some of these people are still available to me through Facebook. There used to be loads of us though, like a big party round the comments sections of each other's blogs day after day. There were people who I'd forgotten about, people who I still know & people who I miss dearly & don't know how to get hold of again. Many, many friends who consoled me in times of trouble & congratulated me in times of triumph. Wonderful. I really did smile an awful lot while reading back through all that joyous interaction.

The downside of this little trip to the past was that it only served to underline how very crap things are now. I've already mentioned my hermit status but I feel the need to point out that it's not necessarily a choice. Now I count myself very lucky that I have several fine friends & many people who really do care about me. The trouble is hardly any of them are here, some don't even share my continent. My family are up in Yorkshire. God bless my sister, she has been brilliant in making an effort to keep me sane since she found out just how bad I've been feeling, but even with her best efforts there's only so much she can do from so far away. I only have one real friend left here in this shithole of a town &, bless her, she's in that newly loved up state with someone. I remember what that is like so don't mind that I don't see much of her. She does pop round now & again & she's due to visit on Saturday with a bottle of vodka, which will be really nice. Then there's Phil, down in Somerset which may as well be the Ukraine for how accessible it currently is for me. And of course there is Rob & Sussann who are relatively close but again without a car or any sort of spare money may as well be on the moon.
This got me thinking, all my people in this country are part of a couple, which, I suppose, most people are. This caused me to conclude that while they may well deeply care about me & want my company from time to time, they don't need me. Whereas I really do need them. The lack of adult company in my life at the moment really does get me down a lot.

So in summation; going back over my life from 5/6 years ago made me smile & made me thankful for all the wonder of the time.

Now; woe is me, yadda yadda yadda...